12 Common Problems In A Relationship And How To Deal With Them

common problems in a relationship

Issues and disagreements are normal to arise in every relationship. However, not many know that problems in a relationship open your eyes and help you appreciate the good things of your bond. Every couple goes through hardships, though the issues and degree may vary. The success of a relationship depends on how well and soon a couple resolves the issues and moves on with life. This post talks about some common problems that plague a relationship and ways to overcome them.

12 Most Common Problems In A Relationship You May Face

Though no two relationships are similar, the problems most couples face can be broadly categorized as below:

1. Communication

Jane waits for Jack to come home for dinner. It gets late at night and when Jane messages, Jack replies that he went out for a party with his friends. He assumes that his wife remembers because he told her about the party a fortnight ago.

What he could have ideally done was remind her once again in the morning or just before leaving for the party.

Lack of communication can be the cause of several relationship problems. You assume your partner knows about it, you think it is not necessary for your partner to know or you simply don’t pay attention to what your partner is saying because you are watching television, checking your mobile, or working on your laptop.

If not nipped in the bud, the communication gap has the ability to ruin relationships.

How You Can Solve It:

The answer to this problem is simple – talk and listen.

  • Make an appointment: Fix a time to sit and talk every day – be it over the breakfast, dinner or a cup of coffee
  • Mirror: Let the communication flow from both sides. Don’t interrupt your partner while he/she is talking. Listen actively to understand your partner. Maintain eye contact and lean forward.
  • Validate: Acknowledge what your partner says by repeating back what you heard your partner say to you. Then ask, “Did I get you?”
  • Emphasize: Use feeling words to express the importance of giving attention to your partner. “I can imagine that you might be feeling frustrated.”
  • Avoid disruptions: Put away your gadgets while communicating, especially your cell phone, which invades your personal time and creates a distraction.

2. Lack of trust

Jane feels that her husband is a little too close with his female colleague. Every time he is late from office or goes out with his friends, Jane is almost sure that he is with his colleague. Jack knows his wife’s suspicions are baseless but does little to convince her.

If trust is missing in a relationship, it wobbles. Do not let mistrust seep into your relationship. Sort it out with your partner.

How You Can Solve It:

Building trust is a slow process but works if you are sincere in your efforts.

  • Be honest; don’t lie to your partner.
  • Reassure your partner that you love them.
  • And if you are unable to trust your partner, tell them what is making you mistrust them.
  • Talk to them about the instances that have sprouted suspicion in you, and seek clarifications.

3. Finances

Jake lost his job as his company was restructuring. His wife hasn’t been working too, and they do not know how to pay the bills at the end of the month. Then begins the unpleasantness of who should take responsibility for their financial situation.

Money may not make a relationship but it has the potential to break one. If you don’t have a steady income to run your house and pay your bills, then problems are inevitable.

How You Can Solve It:

  • Discuss the finances with your partner and plan your needs accordingly.
  • Analyze your expenses. If one of you is spending too much, cut down the unnecessary expenditure.
  • Decide who pays the bills.
  • Save some amount every month for your future needs.
  • Discuss and create financial goals together.

4. A dull sex life

Jane and Jack are so tired that the only thing they think at the end of the day is to sleep. Though they long for intimate moments together, they have to wait for it until the weekend. And there is no guarantee that it will happen in the weekend – they might end up quarreling, have friends over at home, or their child might get sick and have a fever.

When sex takes a backseat, your relationship suffers. Loss of libido, busy schedules, or mere fatigue contributes to poor sex life, which, in turn, affects your relationship negatively.

How You Can Solve It:

Sex draws a physical connection between partners bringing them closer and maintains a healthy relationship.

  • If work keeps you busy during the weekdays, plan a sex date on the weekends. The anticipation of sex can make you yearn for each other.
  • Variety is fun! Have sex in the shower, living room, or on your kitchen counter. You might just find it interesting.
  • Instead of focusing just on the act, understand what turns your partner on and play along those lines.
  • If you have any other problems getting intimate in the bed, then consult a professional sex therapist.

5. Power struggle

Jane and Jack rush to work in the morning and come back tired. But then the groceries have to be bought, the dinner has to be prepared, and the dishes need to be washed and put away. Each wants the other to do the chores. Can work come to a standstill?

This is a simple example of a daily power struggle. But the real power struggle can be deeper than this when the feeling of one-upmanship crops up between the couple.

How You Can Solve It:

Realize that both are equal in a relationship.

  • Share your responsibilities, and be fair in your division of duties.
  • Mutually agree upon who does what.
  • Swap some of your responsibilities if you need a change.

6. Taking for granted

Jane is unwell and has not been going to work for two days. Jack doesn’t worry much about it as it is common for his partner to fall ill almost every month. But all Jane craves for is Jack’s concern and care.

After spending some years together in a relationship, most couples take their partners for granted. It may not be lack of love but things just become a routine. This could be the beginning of your relationship problems.

How You Can Solve It:

Your relationship should be your priority. That’s what you have promised each other.

  • Care for each other.
  • Spend time with each other in privacy.
  • Schedule weekend date nights.
  • Rekindle your relationship by doing things you were doing during your initial days.
  • Respect and show appreciation to each other.

7. Stress

Jane and Jack have their deadlines to meet at work. They work day and night, during the weekdays and weekends alike. The work becomes so stressful that they cease to even think about each other.

Prolonged stress leads to other problems such as lack of communication, sex life, etc. Stress could relate to work, health, finances or anything else.

How You Can Solve It:

Do not allow problems to take a toll on you because that creates more problems.

  • Address the cause of stress instead of trying to find an outlet elsewhere.
  • De-stress yourself by practicing meditation and relaxation techniques.
  • Spend more time with your kids or pets. They are good stress-busters.
  • Take a break and go on a vacation with your partner.

8. Insecurity

Jane is beautiful, independent and successful. Jake has a constant fear that she might leave him for a better person. He constantly looks out for signs in her behavior and gets hyper whenever she opposes him.

A relationship need not always be between equals. You both are together not because you are equally successful or beautiful but because you like each other’s traits and character.

How You Can Solve It:

A relationship runs smoothly when you balance your inequalities well. Keep in mind you complete each other.

  • Discuss your fears and seek reassurance.
  • If your partner is insecure, make them feel wanted, show them that you love them and care for them.

9. Infidelity

Jane learns that her husband is cheating on her. She catches him and his girlfriend red-handed. Her husband apologizes but she doesn’t know whether she should give him a chance or just walk out of the relationship.

It is traumatic to be cheated by your loved one. IInfidelity includes physical or emotional relationships outside marriage including one-night stands. Cheating has the potential to break your marriage.

How You Can Solve It:

You need to decide whether or not to continue in the relationship. If you are keen on continuing, then here is what you can do:

  • Forgive your partner if they seek it.
  • Understand the reasons why your partner strayed.
  • Try to love your partner without taunting them about the past.
  • If you are the one who cheated on your partner, apologize, re-establish the trust by being open, honest, and respectful towards your partner.
  • Invest time and effort in rekindling your marriage.

10. Abuse

The husband beats up the wife for every possible reason. Or the wife nags and emotionally blackmails the husband to the extent that the husband feels suffocated in the relationship.

Abuse can be physical, verbal, or emotional. It is a serious relationship problem, which should not be tolerated. Fix your relationship before it goes to this extreme.

How You Can Solve It:

Unlike most other problems, abuse can be dangerous and needs to be dealt with.

  • Seek professional help and go for couple counseling.
  • Explore the underlying reasons resulting in abuse.
  • Learn healthier ways to cope with and address these reasons with your partner.

11. Arguments

Jane and Jack have been arguing for more than an hour. Their reason for the argument – they couldn’t agree on what to have for dinner. The previous day they argued about what program to watch on the TV, and the day before on whether or not to buy a new food processor.

Arguments are inevitable in any relationship. But when you constantly argue over trivial things , it is a red flag in your relationship.

How You Can Solve It:

  • Learn to control your urge to negate your partner.
  • It takes two persons to argue. So if you are out of it, there is no scope for argument.
  • Stop blaming each other for everything.
  • Discuss but don’t argue.
  • Communicate effectively.

12. Long-distance relationship

It’s been months since Jane saw her husband. They talk and message whenever they have time but only for a few minutes. And that’s not enough to keep their relationship going. On days, she worries if her husband really loves her and her husband could be feeling the same about Jane.

You may be living away from your partner for various reasons like work or frequent travels. The physical distance is bound to bring an emotional gap as well.

How You Can Solve It:

Beware of the negative feelings that could crop up due to the distance.

  • Organize your time and include time for your relationship to foster.
  • Plan your time in such a way that you meet as often as possible.
  • If your partner is busy, try to make things easier on them. Maybe that means you can go to them instead of them coming to you.
  • Keep open, positive and exciting communication so that the anticipation of meeting your partner is high.

These are not the only problems a couple could face. A problem could come from any side and in any form. A few other relationship issues are:

  • A significant change in the partner’s behavior.
  • Growing out of love.
  • Getting bored in the relationship.
  • Having high and unrealistic expectations from your partner.
  • Becoming over possessive.
  • Addiction in all forms, such as to alcohol, drugs, gambling, social media or anything unhealthy.
  • Invading each other’s personal space.
  • Lack of care and concern for the partner.
  • Lack of support in child-rearing.
  • Disliking each other’s parents and family members.

When any relationship problem becomes severe to the extent that it is causing you great distress, then you need to address it with your partner, seek professional help or choose to end the relationship.

Relationship problems are a part of life because humans are imperfect. But that shouldn’t deter you from leading a normal and happy life. Wisdom lies in the ability to deal with the problems peacefully, effectively and smartly.

What is your take on relationship problems? Do share your opinions below.

Image Credit: freepik

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