Why Can’t I Stop Crying When I’m Angry?

Why Can't I Stop Crying When I'm Angry

It is natural for humans to get tears while going through emotions or being overwhelmed by circumstances. At such times, you try to speak, but your face flushes and your throat constricts, which makes it difficult to utter a word. 

Crying due to emotions is normal, but if it happens regularly, then it can interfere with your daily routine. If you wonder,why do I cry when I get mad, then this article will guide you through. 

Why Do We Cry When We’re Angry?

The human phenomenon of shedding tears while being angry is when you are hurt, embarrassed, treated unfairly, or betrayed. When people experience rejection or humiliation, the natural reaction includes both anger and sadness, and as a result, tears flow out.

Scientists believe this serves as an evolutionary function that sends a distress signal to ask for help. Crying releases oxytocin and prolactin, both of which can bring your heart rate down and calm you down after a stressful event.

If you cry and are comforted by others, your mood will improve. But if you cry and are mocked by others, then it is not going to help out and may worsen your mood.It has been noticed that women and children cry in these situations more than men.

Children cry more than adults, and women cry more than men. Women shed more tears than men because women have been socialized to display more positive emotions and internalize negative emotions like anger.

Mechanism of Crying While Being Angry

When you get angry, the amygdala, hypothalamus, and pituitary gland work together to produce cortisol and adrenaline (stress hormone) (1). It produces the following symptoms-

  • blood pressure raises 
  • heart rate goes up
  • sudden rush of warmth 
  • dry mouth
  • palms feel damp
  • narrow field of vision

Beside this, cortisol may cause short-term memory loss, and in this confused, anxious moment, there is an urge to shed tears. 

Controlling Crying When Angry

It is not always a good idea to cry whenever you are angry. Here are a few things that you can try if you do not want to cry amidst a conflict.

  • Writing: Writing has been prescribed to help people develop a sense of control over their future and to have an insight into their feelings (2). Journaling your thoughts helps you not only express what you are feeling but also discover what you are feeling. 
  • Practice saying what you need: In some places and for some people, stating their needs clearly is an issue. There are circumstances where some individuals have not been able to pour their heart out, which may lead to frustration. 
  • Avoid staying in toxic surroundings: Slowly move out physically from the toxic surroundings. If you feel that your emotions are mounting up, change your surroundings. This brings down the emotions quickly. 
  • Get rid of negative thoughts: You can also try clenching and releasing muscles to control your thoughts. This gives a renewed sense of self-control because you realize that you have the power over where your limbs are in space, so you have the power to control your emotions too. (3).  
  • Drink water: Dehydration can affect your mood and thinking ability. Studies have suggested that water reduces cortisol, which is a stress hormone, lowers your heart rate, and increases alertness. (4).  
  • Breathe: Focusing on breathing helps to regulate strong feelings and re-center. The concentration of air and its flow in and out of the body helps to regain alertness, lowers the body temperature, releases muscle tension, and regulates the autonomic nervous system (5).  

When Should You Let Yourself Cry?

Crying plays a vital role in emotional health. If the place where you are crying is safe and appropriate, you can let your feelings and tears flow. Though, as such, there is no defined place where you can shed tears, still a place like a therapist’s office is considered safe.

Good times to let the mood flow-

  • when you are on a solitary walk
  • privately journaling
  • in company of close friends and family
  • in the shower or bath
  • while praying, meditating, or enjoying nature alone


Many people cry when they are angry, frustrated, humiliated, or embarrassed. Crying when you are angry does not mean that you are out of control, weak, or mentally ill. It is a human response to emotional stimuli. But if it happens frequently or at odd places, it can interfere with your ability to control situations and act appropriately. 

Excessive crying may also indicate that you are depressed or anxious, and you may need effective treatments to regain the sense of balance to regulate your emotional life. It is a good idea to take a session with a therapist where you can be advised of all that you can do to control such situations.

Now that you know why I cry when I get mad, never shell your emotions and let the tears come out. Shedding tears is not bad but hurting others while being angry is. 

So, breathe and try to stay calm! 

Image Source : freepik

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